Blessed are those who have regard for the weak; the Lord delivers them in times of trouble. 2 The Lord protects and preserves them – they are counted among the blessed in the land – he does not give them over to the desire of their foes. 3 The Lord sustains them on their sick-bed and restores them from their bed of illness.
4 I said, ‘Have mercy on me, Lord; heal me, for I have sinned against you.’
History is intertwined with the present. Memories are a treasure, but from the spiritual and moral perspective the present is far more important. Augustine therefore asks himself: What is the current state of my soul? What is the main source of my anxiety and the obstacles in strengthening the friendship with God? He concludes that there is still a great deal to be done in these areas and that in many ways he remains as he was in the past. He is not sure what to do about it, so a grown and strong man begins to weep for himself.
"When … it happens that the singing has a more powerful effect on me than the sense of what is sung, I confess my sin and my need of repentance, and then I would rather not hear any singer. Such is my condition: weep with me, and weep for me, you who feel within yourselves that goodness from which kind actions spring! Any of you who do not have these feelings will not be moved by my experience. But do you hear me, O Lord my God: look upon me and see, have mercy and heal me, for in your eyes I have become an enigma to myself, and herein lies my sickness."
Here is a thought: God will not ask you how big your house was, but how many people you had let stay under your roof. God will not ask you how much you had earned, but if and what compromises you had made to get that money. God will not ask you what titles you had acquired, but if you had done your work honestly and to the utmost of your abilities. God will not ask you how many friends you had, but how many people had chosen you as a friend. We could ask many such questions ourselves, but they all revolve around, in the words of Augustine, the goodness from which kind actions spring.